What were you doing five years ago today? As the holiday season began? Where were you? Who were you with? What did you want? What did you have?
Five years ago my life was very different. It seems like a lifetime ago. I was a single girl (if you can a 34 year old woman a girl?) excited about her new slimmer body having just survived gastric bypass surgery. I had lost a 100 pounds. I was never going to be skinny but I looked a lot better and felt a lot better too. I was dating, wearing high heels (for as long as I could manage) and having fun. But I was still lonely. I was still just that same introvert trying to force myself out into public to meet someone like me, so we could hurry back to our cave and snuggle in.
Enter my dating experience on craigslist. I know what you are thinking. That is the worst of all place to try to meet people. I didn't know at the time. I just saw this nice guy's ad and replied. Ok, I replied because he had tons of tattoos and a shaved head and that was my fantasy. But I lucked out and got a college educated, professional, workaholic, music freak who is an excellent father, a great friend and an introvert just like me.
On December 1, 2005, My boyfriend, G, and I had just been going out for 6 months. So many big emotional things in our lives had not yet happen. He had some very scary medical news and the aftermath was difficult but in the end it all worked ok. We move into together and a few months later, his 13 y.o. daughter, T , moves in full time after a huge fight with her mom.
So in a fairly short period of time, I went from being a single woman to living with a man and for all intent and purpose a stepmother, of a teenager no less. This was a bit challenging. From the very beginning of dating G, I have gotten to know and spent time with T. I have helped with homework, gone to soccer tournaments, taken her to school, bought her clothes, and made sure she had bananas in the morning so she wouldn't get a cramp during the soccer game. I became the organizer of her life at least when she was at her Dad's. G got along pretty well with his ex-wife and I got along with her too. As situations go, it was working pretty good until puberty met mental health issues. I won't go into the long story but I will just say if a couple can live through a bi-polar teenager then they can live through any thing.
When I thought of the date December 1, 2005, I thought of two things one starting my life with my boyfriend and the passing of my Grandmother. I can't say how much I miss her. I have jewelry I wear to remind me of her and I have a big picture of her when she was young up in my house. I think of her when I read, She loved books. The other day my Mom commented that I left my ironing board up all the time like Grandma and I was really proud of that, even though I don't think it was a compliment. I am just happy that the last time I saw her I was able to tell her about G and T. She at least knew about my about my family before she died. I am crying just typing this. Recently I was with my mom and aunt and there were talking about my grandma and I know she had flaws. Now that she is gone we don't have to worry about those.
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Start a new tradition with your family or friends this season to help you remember the beauty of NOW!
share a blog together * start a cookie swap * host a movie night * meet late for pancakes * invite your siblings to pick out a gift for your parents * get together with friends to make holiday decorations
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We don't do a Christmas tree but I do decorate the fireplace hearth. Everyone has there own monogrammed stocking. I had to buy two new ones this year. We have two new additions to the family own new chihuahua Tank and new kitty Gizmo. We sadly lost Rottweiler Sam and our kitty Boots. (If you know our family you know these really are very important members of our family!!!)
But we will have to come up with a new tradition! Something fun to help us remember those we have lost. I report back.
