Here are my puppies!!

Hi! Welcome to the blog I never imagined I would have.

Never thought I would have a blog.  I am pretty sure I will be the only person to ever read it but I just got tired of search for what I was looking for so I figured I would just create it myself. 


I am a 39 year old woman who is feeling pretty lost in my life at this moment.  I have a very good job, a great boyfriend, an amazing step daughter and the two cutest puppies in the world.  So why do I feel lost?  Why can't I get over this block in my head and just get connect with the things I need to do.  Why do I always feel like I just want to stay home and crawl into bed.  


I am sure it is my depression again, but I really think it is something else. I am always a procrastinator.  I never do the household chores I need to.  I never exercise.  I spend too much money.  And this is something I have never actually said out loud - I rely too much on migraine and other meds to stay numb so I have an excuse to stay at home and in bed.  [My disclaimer is that I am pretty sure I don't have an addiction to the meds but I do use in an safe way.]


I take too many sick days at work.  I procrastinate on my work when things are slow.  I need to prove myself again.  Why am I like this?


Ok.  I feel better just putting it all down.  So what do I do now?  


Here is the beginning of the plan:

• Go see a mental health provider
• Stop taking the meds unless I have a very legitimate migraine
• No more missed work days

I can do those three for right now.  The other thing I thinking about was Life Coaching but I cant really find any info that doesn't come super dorky or corporate, neither of which is for me.  

So there it is my first blog post about to go out to scary world.  Hope it doesn't come back to haunt me.